Wanting to Remember, Trying to Forget (Meet the Shepards #1) Read online

  “It’s the truth. It’s like walking into the frickin sun! No one will want to visit this site. It’s too hard on the eyes. I’m not saying change the color, I’m just saying tone it down a bit.”

  “It’s no’ that bad, Max.”

  He threw his hands up. “Fine. How about we settle this in a democratic way.”

  She smiled and he couldn’t help but notice how pretty she looked in a pair of jeans, a simple gray T-shirt, and her thick hair neatly tied up in a ponytail.

  “Rock, paper, scissors,” he said when he managed to stop staring. “I win, we change it. You win, we keep it.”

  “Deal.”

  “On three. One…Two…Three.” Max threw out a flat hand, but when he noticed that Sofia had her fingers out in the shape of a scissor, he quickly drew in his fingers and clenched them into a fist.

  “¿Qué haces?” Sofia asked.

  She had asked him that enough times for him to know that it meant “what are you doing?”

  He smiled. He liked it when she spoke in Spanish. “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” he replied innocently. “I didn’t do anything.”

  “What was tha’?”

  “What?”

  “Tha’? What you just did? You cheated.”

  Max bit his lower lip. “No, I didn’t.”

  “Yes, you did. You had paper and you changed it to rock. Mos’ people would ask for best outto three when they lose, but you cheated.”

  “I think you’re hallucinating. The bright yellow must be affecting your brain.”

  “I canno’ believe it. Who cheats at rock, paper, scissors?”

  “I didn’t cheat.” Max sat back in his chair, looking offended that she would dare accuse him of such a thing. “But if you’re so adamant about it, let’s do it again.”

  “Fine.”

  “Fine. One…Two…Three.”

  Sofia threw out a fist but Max threw a fist with his index finger pointed out.

  Confusion crinkled her pretty face. “What’s tha’?”

  “This is a stick of dynamite and it can blow up rock, paper, or scissors.”

  “You can’t do tha’!”

  “I just did. So I guess that means I win.”

  She leaned back in her chair and sighed her defeat. “If you can stoop to such levels, you must really wan’ to change it, so go for it.”

  Max was disappointed that she had not given him more of a fight. Danny would have never given in so easily. Danny! How did she always manage to pop into his head? He squashed the thought and got to work changing the background. He felt Sofia leaning closer and he suddenly found it difficult to breathe. His throat clenched and his palms became sweaty.

  “Max,” she said seductively, “can I ask you something?”

  He nodded without looking at her.

  “Have you ever thought abou’…abou’ kissing me?”

  Max choked and disguised it by clearing his throat. Every woman he had ever dated had felt it necessary to make the first move. Even a timid woman like Sofia felt compelled to take matters into her own hands. There must be something that he was missing. He knew he was a bit slow on the uptake but he was shy, insecure when it came to the opposite sex. He was a little low in the experience department and no one knew this pathetic little secret except Danny.

  Again, he pushed Danny out of his mind and focused on the very interesting topic at hand. “Oh…wow!” The nervousness came out of him as a stuttered laugh. “Uh…kissing you?” He nipped his lower lip when his eyes met hers. “It…uh…it never crossed my mind.”

  Sofia smiled at him as if she knew he was lying and moved closer to him. “So you haven’ thought abou’ it? No’ even once?”

  “Maybe…maybe once or…twice…and if right now is included…then…um…maybe three times…but that’s it. Sorry, I just…I just don’t find you…all that…attractive.”

  She moved her lips closer to his ear. “You don’t find me even a little pretty?”

  He shut his eyes, trying not to think about the way the R rolled off her tongue and the half-pronounced T when she said the word pretty. “No…uh…not even…a little.”

  She gently nipped his ear with her teeth and his breathing quickened. “How about the accent?” she asked. “I’ve heard men can’t resist a Spanish accent.”

  “Accent?” He swallowed hard. “What…accent? I didn’t even notice…an accent?”

  She slowly climbed over him, straddling her legs over his hips. She lowered her head and began whispering sweet Spanish nothings into his ear. This was his breaking point. This woman was a temptress of note. His hands moved up to rest on her hips while her hands slowly began undoing the buttons of his shirt.

  She lifted her head and looked down at him. “You still don’t find me attractive?”

  “I…uh…” Air was now being pushed out of his lungs in short gasps. “I…uh…I think I need a better look…just to make sure.”

  She smiled almost triumphantly and leaned closer. “Like this?”

  “Um…a little closer.”

  She nodded and leaned closer. “Like this?”

  “That…that yellow must be affecting my eyes. Maybe just…a little closer.”

  She closed the remaining gap, leaving mere millimeters between her lips and his. She moistened her mouth with the tip of her tongue and Max had to remind himself to keep breathing. “Like this?” she whispered.

  He gently ran his hand over her cheek, stalling to find enough courage to close the gap. “Like this,” he said before his lips touched hers.

  Her mouth moved sensually over his. He was tentative at first, but the more she massaged his mouth, the more he began to lose himself in her spell. He felt her hands undoing the rest of his buttons and then the buckle of his belt. His hands, however, were firmly pinned at her waist, afraid to do anything more. She broke the kiss, whipped off her gray T-shirt, and tossed it on the floor. “You can touch me, Max.”

  He looked at the gorgeous breasts trapped beneath the thin cotton bra, just waiting to be released for his exploration. He could feel his nervousness returning. One part of him was tempted to go forth and explore whereas the other part was so afraid that this would end in disaster. Either she would end up feeling rejected, or he would end up feeling like an incompetent fool. Tough choice. A choice that was taken out of his hands the second he heard the door open.

  “Danny!” Max shrieked, almost falling off the chair.

  Sofia quickly stood up and attempted to cover her chest with her T-shirt. Max stumbled to get to his feet. His mouth opened to say something but no words came to mind.

  He watched as Danny took in the entire scene. Topless Sofia. His unbuttoned shirt. His unbuckled belt. She smiled and he could tell that there was something else behind that smile; the slightest hint of anger, but mostly just hurt.

  “I’m sorry,” she whispered. “I didn’t mean to interrupt.”

  She slowly walked away and moments later he heard her bedroom door slam shut.

  “Well, tha’ was awkward,” Sofia said as she pulled on her T-shirt. “I think I’d better go. You can finish the homepage by yourself, can’t you?”

  He nodded. “Yeah.” He walked to the door and kissed her on the cheek. “I’ll call you later.” He watched her leave and shut the door.

  This relationship with Sofia was becoming emotionally draining. The look he saw on Danny’s face when she entered was still playing on his mind. He wanted to know what it meant because somehow he felt guilty again, like he had betrayed her in some obscure way. He needed to do some serious thinking. A friendship with Danny and a relationship with any other woman were mutually exclusive concepts and he needed to decide which one to exclude. He sat down on the sofa, deep in thought, wondering how his life had become so complicated.

  * * *

  This damn post box! It always jammed her key. Danny twisted and turned the key, becoming more irritated when it still felt impossible to open. She continued to fiddle, pushing against the
blue metal until she eventually heard the faint click inside. She exhaled a breath of relief but her mood changed almost instantly when she saw the brown paper package underneath all the white envelopes.

  “It came! It finally came!”

  Closing the box was not as cumbersome. She quickly shoved the key into her pocket as she raced up the outdoor stairwell to the fourth floor. She walked into the apartment and heard Max in the kitchen. She silently crept by and slipped into her bedroom to retrieve the other part of his gift. His birthday was coming up and even though she had always considered giving a gift before the time bad luck, she had no choice this year. Besides, it was just a few days early and he was going to love it. She could already picture the look on his face. A smile would stretch across his face, his left dimple curving in the most adorable way.

  Thinking about his reaction made her excited. Her relationship with Max had changed over the last few weeks. It was her fault, she knew. She was being childish and selfish. Last Saturday was a perfect example. She had stayed in her room long after Sofia had left, not really wanting to speak to him or anyone else. Seeing Max and Sofia in that state of undress, with her lipstick smeared on his face was more than she could take. It reinforced every ugly feeling that had been building inside her since they started dating. But her insecurities were making her push him away and Max did not deserve that.

  Her fears of being replaced could end up being a self-fulfilling prophecy. She needed to change her behavior or risk losing her best friend forever. Losing Max was not an option. He was too important, too special and even though it grated her every time she saw them together, she was going to have to learn to play it cool. Sofia made him happy and she needed to give them the space to allow their relationship to flourish. Danny was hoping that maybe the gifts would be a step to getting their relationship back to what it used to be.

  Max was almost finished with dinner when she met him in the kitchen. She walked in, holding the gifts behind her back.

  “So…your birthday is coming up,” she said to get his attention.

  He turned to face her and a grin had already formed on his face. “Are you going to do the same thing you did last year? Because I would love that.”

  Danny giggled. “No. It’s not that awesome, but I think you’re still gonna love it.”

  She handed Max the package wrapped in brown paper.

  He took it and did not waste time ripping off the paper to get to the gift. “Galactic Battlefront?” His excitement showed in his every movement. “You got me Galactic Battlefront. This game is impossible to get hold of.”

  “I know.” Danny smiled, feeling quite proud of herself. “I had to pull a few strings.”

  “Danny, this is amazing. Thank you so much.”

  “That’s not all,” she said, handing him two tickets. “Its tickets for that geek fest you’ve been dying to go to.”

  Max took the tickets to the Electronic Expo that was going to be held on Thursday night. “These are VIP tickets.”

  “Yeah. This gives you access to all the weird stuff. They’re gonna have those virtual fighting thingamabobbies and one of those spaceship flight simulators and with these tickets you get to do everything. It even allows you to get one free game so make your decision wisely.”

  He was stumped for a moment or two. “Danny, I…I don’t know what to say.”

  “You don’t have to say anything, Max. I just want you to have a good time. Maybe…maybe you can take Sofia with you. I don’t know if she’s in to that sort of stuff, but I’m sure it will be fun.”

  Max smiled, pulled her into his arms and kissed the top of her head. “Thank you, Danny. This is amazing.”

  She held him tight, not wanting him to move away. For the first time in a long while, she actually felt like she had her friend back.

  April

  Max walked into the kitchen and switched on the kettle. He needed a caffeine boost. Two late nights in a row had left him exhausted. Sofia had gone along with him to the Electronic Expo on Thursday night. Although she had not really shared his enthusiasm, they’d had fun. It was impossible to not have fun in a flight simulator.

  He had also taken her to an up-market bar last night to celebrate the launching of Bit-by-Bit’s new website. The board of directors were surprisingly happy with what they had come up with and their weeks of not-so-hard work had actually reaped some rewards. But it was there that their relationship had taken a very unexpected turn.

  He had finally seen with his own eyes how alcohol can eradicate any and all inhibitions. Sofia had been giddy with excitement at first but after three martinis and eight tequilas she became very outspoken.

  He’d made a comment about how tequila was the only exception to Danny’s strict no-drinking rule and Sofia’s mood had instantly changed.

  “You’re in love with Danny, aren’t you?” she’d said.

  Although Max tried to deny it, she had not believed a single word.

  “I know it’s hard to love someone who doesn’t love you back,” she’d said, her tone sullen and dejected. “And I know how hard it is to le’ go and move on. I’m going through the same thing. I fell in love and…I thought things were going grea’. He said it was going too fas’ so we take a break and now…he’s getting married to someone else. That’s life. But, Max, if both of us are only willing to put half our hearts into this relationship, it’s never going to work. I really like you and I wan’ to see where this goes.”

  Max had ended the conversation there as he thought it best to continue it when she was one hundred percent sober, but her words still troubled him. How could Sofia, someone who knew him for six weeks, see what Danny had not been able to see in six years? What troubled him even more was that Sofia could tell that Danny didn’t love him back. It was a fact he still could not wrap his head around after all this time.

  “Hey,” Danny greeted softly from the entrance of the kitchen. “Can I get a cup too?”

  Max noticed that she had already showered and changed and realized that he had been so lost in thought he had not even heard her.

  “Sure.” Max walked to the cupboard, took out another mug and began making her a cup of coffee.

  He noticed the way her eyes moved very discreetly over his bare chest and there was something almost appreciative in her gaze.

  “Max, have you been working out?”

  “Yeah, Charlie and I have been hitting the gym. I want to get into shape. Can’t be the skinny dork all my life.”

  There was a part of him that felt flattered that she noticed but the other part of him felt awkward around her, vulnerable because people who barely knew him could see what he was hiding.

  “So how was your night of celebration?” she asked. “You got in pretty late.”

  He handed her a cup of steaming coffee. “It was…eventful. I discovered a whole new side to Sofia.” He saw the questions formulate in Danny’s eyes, but when he offered no further information, she looked away and began sipping her coffee. “What do you have planned for today?” he asked instead.

  “Richard is taking me out today. He flew in last night. I told you about it, remember?”

  He simply nodded, wishing that he had not asked the question. The silence dragged on for quite some time before Danny cleared her throat and looked up at him.

  “Max…I wanna ask you something.”

  He nodded. “Shoot. You know you can ask me anything.”

  She toyed nervously with her fingers. “If you and I were dating…how long…how long would you be willing to wait before…we…you know…”

  Max froze and tried not to read too much into what she was asking. “If you and I were dating…I would…I would wait as long as it took. I think…” He inhaled a deep breath. “I think a girl like you is worth waiting for.” He noticed that she was giving extensive thought to his words. “Why do you ask?”

  “It’s just that Richard is in town and I…was thinking that maybe…tonight—”

  “No!” Max
roared.

  He knew he had no right to tell her what to do or who to do it with, but he couldn’t stand the thought of her giving herself to arrogant playboy. Fuck no!

  His heart rate went through the roof, anxiety gushing through him with every erratic beat. The thought of that asshole’s hands on her body was enough to drive him mad. Richard didn’t deserve her. He was only after one thing. Max knew that it was only the challenge of getting her into bed that had kept Richard interested for so many months.

  Once he got what he wanted, he probably wouldn’t even wait for the sheets to cool before he moved on to the next woman. The time for sitting on sidelines was over. He needed to voice what he really thought before she did something stupid, something she would regret for the rest of her life. “Danny, please think about this before you make any rash decisions.”

  “I have thought about it. I’ve spent months thinking about it. Richard and I have been together for a long time now and I think I’m ready to—”

  “Danny, sex should be shared between two people who love each other.”

  “I do love him.”

  “No, you don’t!” Max gritted his teeth and tried to get his temper under control. “You think you do but you barely know him. You’ve been dating him for months but how much time have you actually spent with him? I know this is hard for you to hear but… Richard doesn’t love you.”

  “That isn’t true, Max. Richard does—” Her voice was rising; becoming more desperate.

  “No, he doesn’t and as soon as he gets what he wants…”

  “Max!”

  “Danielle…” He reached over the counter and took her hand. “Please don’t do this. I know that since Jake died, you want to feel a sense of belonging, that feeling of having a family. Richard can’t give you that.”

  Tears were streaming down her cheeks now. “Why are you saying these things to me?”

  “Because I care about you.” His thumb went up to her face to wipe away her tears. “I just want you to be happy and—”

  “Good morning.”

  Both Danny’s and Max’s eyes flew towards the entrance of the kitchen. Max watched how the expression on Danny’s face changed from one emotion to another as her brain registered Sofia, standing in the doorway, wearing nothing but a white shirt. His white shirt. The white shirt Danny had bought him last Christmas.