Wanting to Remember, Trying to Forget (Meet the Shepards #1) Read online

  “Jealous?” She laughed to show him just how absurd she thought that idea was, but it took quite a bit of effort because she had not been reading and she was in fact jealous. “Why would I be jealous?” she asked with her most unperturbed expression.

  “Oh, come on, Danny. You did the same thing with Heather.”

  Danny thought back on the over-exuberant blonde Max had dated three years ago. She was the only woman he had dated for more than a month. An eccentric drama queen, but there was something about her psycho tendencies that had appealed to Max. Eventually after six months, their relationship came to an end. He had only mourned and moped for about a week because even though he had cared about her; deep down he knew that he could never grow to love someone who thought Brazil was a European country.

  “Heather had sawdust for brains,” Danny said.

  “I’ll admit; she had her flaws but she was a kind and caring person, which is more than I can say for your gigolo boyfriend. He’s all brawn and no brains.”

  “Richard,” Danny said, trying to keep her tone even, “is perfect. He’s gorgeous, he’s sexy, he has a great job—”

  “He’s a model, for God sakes.”

  “And he’s very good at what he does.”

  Max shook his head. “Are all Leo women so superficial?”

  “Are all Aries men so obnoxious?”

  Max walked to the center of the kitchen and spread his hands on the island counter. “Richard has the personality of a cardboard box and if you would just open your eyes—”

  “You don’t even know him.” Danny moved to stand opposite him. “And stop changing the subject. You still haven’t answered my question. Why would I be jealous?”

  “You’re jealous because you think that if I get a girlfriend, you’ll be replaced. You see, I am mature enough to accept any relationship you have with any jerk you choose to have it with, but you can’t afford me the same courtesy.”

  Her mouth dropped in shock. He couldn’t be serious. He couldn’t even stand hearing Richard’s name and here he was talking about maturity. “I’d like to point out two things. One, just because you’re four months and twelve days older than me, it does not make you more mature and two, don’t think for a second that I don’t see how you get every time the topic of Richard comes up. You become a snarling beast…way too overprotective! And it didn’t just happen with Richard. You did the same thing with Steve, the same thing with Rolind, the same thing with Ant—” Danny stopped herself short of saying Anthony Townsend’s name out loud. That was a road they would both prefer to not go down again. “You did the same thing with all my boyfriends,” she said instead.

  “That’s because I was trying to look out for you and all of them were jerks. But I’ve gotta hand it to you, you’ve really outdone yourself with Richard.”

  Danny sighed and shook her head. This argument would go on forever if she did not end it now. Max could argue things to death and she did not have the stamina at this time of the morning.

  They both fell silent for quite some time until she eventually looked at him again. “So,” she began, her tone a mixture of apprehension and curiosity, “you followed Sofia home?”

  He simply nodded.

  “Like to her door or inside?”

  Max fought a smile. “To her door.”

  “And at her door…” She squished her lips together and debated with herself. “Did you kiss her?”

  His mouth twitched, but he bit his lip and stopped it from developing into a smile. “Well, it is Valentine’s Day.”

  “It was Valentine’s Day…yesterday.”

  “That’s a minor technicality.”

  He smiled, deepening that cute little dimple on his cheek. An overwhelming urge to throw something at him rushed through her. “You’re such a jerk, Max,” she said before she walked out of the kitchen.

  She closed her bedroom door and tossed onto the bed. She didn’t know what to think. She knew he was lying about kissing Sofia, that was a given. She had noticed the way he nipped his lip and she knew that Max did not have enough game to kiss a girl on the first night but it angered her to know that he was intentionally trying to annoy her. The only problem was annoyance wasn’t the only thing she felt.

  He went out with another woman and he had a great time. There was no doubt in her mind that it would happen again and the next time there could very well be a kiss.

  She reasoned with herself to stop being childish. Max was a grown, single man and he could date whomever he wanted. But that was as much reasoning as she could muster.

  She was more than jealous. She was more than insecure. There was something about Sofia that made her believe that this one date could possibly develop into a relationship. Or maybe it was a change in Max. She sensed that there was something different about him. It wasn’t anything he said or did, but there was a subtle change in him and somehow she felt as though she was going to be replaced.

  Soon Sofia would be the one heading up to Montana to spend Christmas at the Shepards. She would be the one he called when he had a bad day. She would be the one dancing to Timbaland with him. She would be the one he laughed with and had pillow fights with.

  If this turned into something more, Danny knew it was only a matter of time before Max completely forgot about her and their six-year friendship. The thought of losing him was something she could not bear. His friendship meant everything to her. It was more than just friendship. It was a bond, a connection, an understanding.

  He knew her better than she knew herself. He saw her insecurities even when she presented confidence to the rest of the world. He saw her weaknesses because he was the only person she had ever shown them to. He saw everything that was bad and good inside her and accepted her just the same. That sort of thing didn’t happen overnight. That was something only time could perfect.

  But now, for the first time in so many years, she was presented with the possibility of losing him and she hated it, because she knew that if Sofia replaced her there would be a gaping hole in her life that Richard could not possibly fill.

  March

  Charlie walked into Max’s office wearing a navy blue T-shirt, a white pair of shorts, and a sweatband over his right wrist. He twirled his squash racquet in his hand and looked at Max expectantly. They had developed an effective gym routine since the implementation of the late New Year’s resolution. They did cardio on Monday, weights on Tuesday, squash on Wednesday, weights again on Thursday, and tai-bo on Friday. Although they felt a little out of place in a class full of forty-something women learning how to do a roundhouse kick, their commitment had not faltered.

  “You ready?” Charlie asked.

  “Give me a minute,” Max replied, his eyes not leaving the computer screen.

  After a minute, Max still had not moved and Charlie decided to take a seat.

  “Are you done yet?” Charlie asked when they passed the two-minute mark.

  “Almost.” Max sighed heavily. “That woman is gonna get me fired.”

  “Who?”

  “Sofia! We’ve had seven meetings to discuss this design and so far we’ve still got nothing. Terrence Truman wants to see more or less what the site is going to look like on Monday and when he sees the magical array of nothing that we have, I’m dead.”

  Charlie smiled. “So if I’m interpreting this correctly, you’ve had seven dates with the lovely Miss Panadero in the last three weeks and she was so smitten by you that the thought of business didn’t even cross her mind.”

  Max finally looked up from the computer screen and smiled modestly. “Well, I wouldn’t exactly say that.”

  Dorothy knocked on the door, walked in and stopped a few feet away from the desk. “I managed to move your meeting with Bit-by-Bit to eleven o’ clock on Monday,” she said.

  Max noticed Charlie’s eyes move up Dorothy’s legs to rest on her ass but he chose not to say anything about it. “Thanks. I’m gonna need all the time I can get.”

  Charlie quickly rev
erted his eyes back to Max as she turned around. He flashed a smile as she was about to pass him. “Hey, Dorothy, why don’t you come sit on my lap and we can talk about the first thing that pops up?”

  “Why don’t you think about rephrasing that question before I get my stun gun,” she retorted with disgust.

  “I like toys,” Charlie said with a naughty grin.

  “And I did like older men until you started looking like one.”

  Normally Charlie would be furious at a statement like that, but instead he seemed intrigued by the challenge. He watched Dorothy storm off and turned back to Max.

  “She so wants my beef.”

  “And she makes it so obvious,” Max added sarcastically.

  Charlie pulled an unimpressed face. “Would you get your ass in gear? It’s already four o’ clock.”

  “Stop nagging.” Max shut down his computer and stood up. “I’m coming.”

  They walked out of his office to the elevators.

  “So things are going good between you and Sofia?” Charlie asked.

  “Yeah. Pretty good. She’s funny and she’s smart and—”

  “Have you made it with her yet?”

  “Fuck, Charlie!” Max decided not to tell him that he hadn’t even tried to kiss her yet.

  “Just asking. So when are you going to see her again?”

  They stepped into the elevator and Max hit the button for the basement parking. “Saturday. We really have to finish this design before Monday and I’m swamped for the rest of the week.”

  Charlie nodded. “I guess that means no gaming this Saturday.”

  “I’m afraid not. Sofia booked me for the entire weekend.”

  Charlie’s eyebrows crinkled together. “And what does hazel eyes have to say about this?”

  Max rubbed a hard hand over his jaw as he thought about Danny. Their friendship had taken strain since Sofia came into the picture, but he needed to live his own life, find his own happiness, and even though he knew that he could never feel the same about Sofia as he did about Danny, he was willing to give it a try. “She doesn’t say much, but it doesn’t matter.” He had to pause for a bit in order to make what he said next sound believable. “I’m moving on with my life.”

  * * *

  Max’s eyes lifted from his laptop when he heard footsteps. Danny stepped into the open-plan living room on Saturday morning, looking breathtakingly beautiful in a pale yellow, knee length summer dress. With her dark brown hair caressing her caramel skin and accentuating her hazel eyes, she looked like all kinds of chocolate, tempting in every way.

  “Have you seen my white cardigan?” she asked softly. “It’s a little nippy this morning.”

  Max took a second and tried to stop gawking. It was moments like this that made him forget that he was technically dating another woman.

  Just looking at her made him feel as if his heart was being torn in two directions. One part of him wanted his relationship with Sofia to work and yet the other part blatantly refused to let go of Danny.

  The two women were worlds apart. Danny was a bit of a tomboy while Sofia was a lady in all respects. She presented herself well and her make-up was always expertly applied whereas Danny only wore make-up on special occasions. Both attributes were appealing in their own way. Sofia showed that she took care of herself and Danny showed that she was happy with her natural beauty.

  But the list did not end there. Danny was assertive. She knew what she wanted and would not back down until she got it. Sofia, on the other hand, was also assertive but more subtle and tactful in her approach. Danny was adventurous and spontaneous whereas Sofia had to be conned into trying something new. Danny was mischievous and playful. Sofia was light hearted but serious. Where Sofia was warm and compassionate, Danny could be selfish and inconsiderate at times. Danny loved wholeheartedly whereas Max could feel that Sofia was holding back. But the defining difference between the two women was that Danny would never see him as anything more than a friend. There was no choice between Danny and Sofia because the option of having Danny had never existed.

  “Let’s try that again,” Danny said when the response she was waiting for had not come. “Have you seen my white cardigan?”

  “Oh…sorry. Um…it’s in the dryer.”

  She squished her lips together. “Great. That’s the only cardigan that goes with this dress.”

  “You could use my baseball jacket,” he suggested playfully.

  She giggled. “Did anyone ever tell you that you have great fashion sense?” Her smile slowly disappeared and she looked away. “So Sofia is coming over today?”

  He nodded and turned his attention back to his laptop. There was something about the way she was looking at him that made him feel guilty and guilt was the last thing he wanted to be feeling.

  She smiled in a bittersweet way. “You like her a lot, huh?”

  “Yeah,” Max replied. “I like her a lot.”

  “Well, I hope you two have a great day,” she said, grabbing her purse from the dining table.

  “Where are you going?”

  “To the spa with Lauren, Jen, and Amber. We were supposed to go at the end of the month, but Richard is coming home that weekend so we moved it to today.”

  Max gritted his teeth. Jealousy was a funny emotion and it always had an unexpected way of creeping up on a person. After seven dates with Sofia, jealousy should no longer be his initial reaction to Richard but it was there, grinding on his nerves again.

  The worst part of this whole situation was the fact that she was living with him, which made it more difficult to focus his emotions in one direction. The closer he got to Sofia, the greater the distance grew between him and Danny. His big mistake, however, was that he kept trying to build a bridge over the gap. His friendship with Danny was something he did not want to sacrifice but at some point, for the sake of his own sanity, he knew it was something he was going to have to do.

  He watched her leave without saying another word.

  * * *

  “So how’s that hot roommate of yours?” Jennifer asked, leaning back on the pool lounger to allow the sun to beat down on her face.

  “He’s off limits,” Amber replied before Danny even opened her mouth. “Besides, he’s dating someone now.”

  “What?” Jennifer snapped up, looking at Danny like she was about to slap her. “I asked you six times to set me up on a date with him and you kept making excuses…and now his dating someone else!”

  Danny laughed. Jennifer could be so melodramatic, going on as if Max would have actually been interested in her. Although looking at it now, Danny would prefer him dating Jennifer as opposed to Sofia because at least she would not have felt so threatened. “It’s not like the sky is falling,” Danny said. “Calm down.”

  “It is,” Jennifer countered almost childishly. “Max is a real catch. He’s smart. He’s funny. He’s sensitive. He’s hot.”

  Danny faked a cough. “I can’t believe you think he’s hot.”

  “I can’t believe that you’ve been living with him for two months and you haven’t jumped him yet.”

  “That’s gross!” Danny spurted out.

  “She’s right,” Amber said. “Max is pretty cute.”

  “What has gotten into you people? Max is a dork, a geek to the core. He’s a video game junkie. There is nothing hot about that. Now, Richard is hot.”

  “Richard is a dickhead,” Amber said flatly.

  “There is no need for such vulgarity, Ambrosia,” Lauren interjected.

  Amber put on her sunglasses and adjusted herself in her seat to get more comfortable. “I’m just being honest, Lauren. Richard is an asshole with a one-track mind and, if you ask me, Danny, you would be much better off with a guy like Max.”

  Danny rolled her eyes. “Well then, I guess it’s a good thing I didn’t ask you.”

  These kinds of conversations were happening far too often lately. It seemed like she was the only person that saw any good in Richard. Normally she
would fight in his defense, but today she did not feel the need to. She didn’t know if it was because she was not in the mood to argue or if maybe – just maybe – this distance thing with Richard was finally taking its toll and she was slowly beginning to stop caring.

  These days Max seemed to take up more of her thoughts than Richard. Strange but true. He was all she could think about. This relationship with Sofia was affecting her more than she had anticipated, but she would get over it eventually. When Richard came home in a few weeks all this madness would come to an end. The comment Amber just made would be ancient history. In a few weeks she would remember how much she loved Richard and stop thinking about how much better off she would be with a guy like Max.

  * * *

  “Sofia,” Max muttered impatiently, “it’s too bright.”

  “Max, that’s our brand color. You canno’ just change it.”

  Max slowly exhaled an aggravated breath. After an hour of debating over the bright yellow Sofia wanted as the background for the homepage, he was ready to start pulling his hair out. They finally managed to set up a decent website for Bit-by-Bit, with hyperlinks added for buyers to scan through the product range as well as the necessary payment options should they wish to make a purchase. Sofia also suggested that he set up a page for DIY tips and Max had done so but then it was time for them to add the finishing touches before the presentation on Monday and that’s where the trouble started.

  “Just think about it,” he said. “A man comes home and his wife says; the kitchen cupboard fell off its hinges. You need to fix it. The man eats his dinner, has his beer and just before he goes to bed, he remembers that he doesn’t have the right tools. A vague memory comes to mind about an ad he saw and a website that can solve all his problems. He goes to his computer, types in the address, and suddenly a shrill scream breaks the silence. His innocent children wake up crying. His wife rushes in, and finds her husband, blinded by the bright yellow light on the computer screen. He is inconsolable. He never wants to visit that site again.”

  “Wow!” Sofia pulled an unimpressed face. “That was so dramatic.”